Teens-Are-Easy Fosters, Full-Circle Foster
The last part of our Many Faces of Fosters series concludes with more stories and advice from foster parents. Find out why the Pablos choose to foster teens and read a story about a foster placement coming full-circle.
Tara and Cleo Pablo say fostering teens is easy. With three older children of their own, bringing a foster teen into their home made sense. The couple describes their foster son as an “easy kid, great guy, conservative in his ways,” who fits into their family well. They were motivated to add to their family because their biological son, also a teen, wanted to help someone.
“We have so much love to give, so we said, ‘Let’s do it,’” Tara says.
She says it is interesting raising someone else’s child. In this case, he wants to please the Pablos but he also wants to please his biological parents.
The Pablos have been working with their foster son on social norms and preparing him for adulthood. He will be 18 in the fall and is welcome to stay with the Pablos through the young adult program.
“We want him to be successful. We love him. He’s a part of our family now,” Cleo says.
The couple expressed no challenges with taking in a teenage boy. They hope that they are giving him all that he needs. Their foster son and biological son, eat a lot and spend a lot of time in their rooms listening to music.
Even though Tara and Cleo are both social workers with master’s degrees, they found the greatest challenges are in navigating the foster care system. There are special appointments, court hearings and foster care review board meetings.
“We couldn’t have done it without our specialist,” Tara says. “It feels like there is a lot of red tape. We would have been lost without a specialist to support and guide us.”
The Pablos suggest others should consider fostering. “I think everybody should give it a chance,” Cleo says. “It will be more rewarding than they think.”
When Rina Grocke’s first foster son was reunited with his biological parents, she told them to reach out if they needed anything—and they did.
Rina is a case manager for the Department of Child Safety. She was exposed to the need for foster parents through her work and decided to get her license. In two years, she has impacted the lives of children and families on her caseload as well as in her home. To date, she has fostered three children. It is her first foster son’s story that she uses to demonstrate the importance of her becoming a foster parent. She cared for him for almost a year and worked with his parents during that time, including them in doctor’s appointments, having them over for dinner, and helping them with clothing and other needs. When the boy was reunited with his parents, Rina kept the lines of communication open. She recently received a call from the parents who were struggling to find jobs and keep food on the table. They asked if she could watch the boy for two weeks. She agreed. The visit extended to months and eventually to legal guardianship.
“I have seen this come full circle. I know it is not ideal, but to have Mom and Dad call me and to trust me…I did my job and that makes me feel good.” She gives the family her full support and knows they are working hard to be reunited. “I changed more than just the boy’s life. I changed the whole family.”
She believes her ability to be a foster parent has made her a better case manager with a deeper understanding of what foster parents and biological parents go through.
She advises anyone thinking of fostering to have patience with the process and when it is safe to do so, keep an open relationship with the biological family.
