Foster parents often hear “I could never foster, I would get too attached,” but if you ask Elisa, a foster parent with Child Crisis Arizona--that’s what it is all about!
“I usually tell people ‘That’s the point,’” she said. “You’re supposed to get attached. It helps the kids build secure attachment. You’re supposed to teach them what secure attachment looks like. They come into your home, and they don’t know that. They don’t know safety. They don’t know security. It’s your job to give them that.”
Elisa grew up in a home with fostered and adopted siblings and always knew it was something she wanted to do when she got older, but it wasn’t until she met an adoptive family at the park and began helping take care of their children that she really felt the pull to finally make it happen.
“We just talked about it a lot and it was what convinced me maybe I could do it by myself,” she said.
Elisa is no stranger to the foster care system. In addition to having adopted siblings, she is a trauma therapist who has worked with kids and adults. She became licensed with Child Crisis Arizona in 2022 and while she was there for the kids, her heart has always been with the parents.
“I want them to see their kids,” she said. “When it is good and we can have a relationship, you can spend time with your kids. I want that for you. I wish people understood that bio parents are people too. They are just like you, they just have experienced a lot of trauma. They are in situations that are generational. They have never been set up for success. They don’t have support and if no one gives them that, the cycle will continue.”
In her time fostering, Elisa has cared for five children and provided respite for several more. If she had any advice for potential foster parents, it would be to make a plan to care for yourself first.
“Do your research about trauma and take some parenting classes around that,” she said. “I also recommend going to therapy to address your own concerns. As a parent, naturally your own issues are triggered, but with these kids it can be magnified 100 times. If you don’t have yourself managed then you will have a tough time. I just recommend some therapy, research on how trauma and attachment work and what that looks like and a good support network!”
There is still a great need for foster parents in Arizona. You can learn more about how to become licensed as a foster or adoptive parent during a virtual Meet and Greet. For more information call 602-385-7526 or email adoption.foster@childcrisisaz.org.
